BREAKING THE SYSTEM: LISA’S POWERFUL FIGHT FOR CHANGE!

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Hello and welcome to underdogs, bootstrappers and game changers.

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This is for those of you that are starting with nothing and using business to change their stars, motivating people who disrupted industry standards.

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This is the real side of business.

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This isn't Shark Tank.

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My aim with this podcast is to take away some of the imaginary roadblocks that are out there.

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I want to help more underdogs, because underdogs are truly who change the world.

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This is part of our Content for Good initiative.

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All the proceeds from the monetization of this podcast will go to charitable causes.

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It's for the person that wants it.

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Hello and welcome to another episode of Underdogs, bootstrappers, game Changers and, once again, folks.

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I am so excited to have my dear friend Lisa here today, and it happens to be Lisa's birthday.

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Oh goodness, we don't have to tell everybody and here's Lisa's birthday present being on Underdogs, and so Lisa happens to be in town because we have a meeting for our foundation tomorrow that we're starting, Um, and so I thought it prudent to have a discussion around how to change things right and how to think of things a little bit different and how to immerse into systems and how to get the right people involved in changing something, Um, and so what I hope you get out of this episode today is a different way to look at the things of this world that you might want to impact, Um.

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That being said, I want to welcome Lisa officially.

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Um and uh, Lisa, I know we have to start at the start, right, and so I know that it's not always easy, um, to do that, and I'm starting to just throw you into that pit, but I think it's important because I think you're such an underdog bootstrapper and game changer you know, and so I want the audience to know that as well and why.

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And so, if you would, can you tell me a little bit about, like the way you grew up and how that's impacted you so?

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far.

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Yeah, yeah, so yeah, I guess that's why I'm here, um, trying trying to make a change, make a difference.

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It's because I I started out my life Um not so great.

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I went, uh was born with, you know, parents who are addicts, and uh went into foster care at two and then I went through 36 foster homes and I had some pretty terrible experiences and then at 18, I aged out and I was homeless.

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And I don't like that society does that.

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I don't enjoy that and I want to make people aware.

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Like we're sending kids through this system and then we're sending them out on their own to be homeless and there's no, there's just there's nothing for them.

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And so that's why you and I are here, hopefully to make a change and make a difference and, um, just change the way the system is doing things.

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There's so many things with you that like I just absolutely adore, you know.

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And then also you bring out like the protective nature in me because I see you especially in like comments and stuff.

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Like I can't believe, like the content you put out is like I want to help kids you know, and then, like this, the, the trash people spit back at you.

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It frustrates me on another level.

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You know it's like.

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I'm not like.

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You can make fun of me all you want and people do.

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You know it's like, but it affects me, especially when I'm see you doing good work and then like people are in the comments like saying horrible things to you.

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I mean, yeah, people, people are super brave behind a keyboard.

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I think they just they don't.

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I don't really think they even mean it honestly.

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Honestly, they say just horrible, terrible comments and I'm like I really don't think they mean it.

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I think they just and folks.

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Just so you know the type of content Lisa produces is.

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She's a big voice for foster advocacy and she's not saying she's not downplaying your favorite sports team.

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She's not really taking political arguments.

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I mean, you do a little your favorite sports team.

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She's not like really taking political arguments.

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I mean you do a little bit sometimes, but mostly it's like hey, we need to change this system for foster kids and people are like attacking you in the comments over that and it's just crazy to me.

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They're like, you're ugly.

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I'm like, okay, cool, cool, but can you donate or are you going to help?

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It's so frustrating to me because, like I, I try to like help people that have a voice.

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There's a.

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I'm going to drop this story because I think this is you in a way.

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Um, there was this guy and he looks like a hillbilly.

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He's actually kind of missing some teeth and stuff.

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He's on a Tik TOK and, uh, he's got big red beard.

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You know, he actually kind of looks like me in a way.

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You know it was like pretty hillbilly looking Right and uh, and he's like can you believe they made the little mermaid black, right?

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And then all of a sudden it shows these clips of videos and, uh, it's all these black girls crying, seeing princess area being black.

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She looks like me, you know, it's like all this stuff.

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And in the end he is like crying and he's like, if you can't appreciate that you're a heartless mother, effer, you know, and so Representation matters.

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It matters so much.

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He was the right voice for that, because you expected this hillbilly thought about him and he just completely 180'd you.

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And I'm not saying you're a hillbilly different voice, it's in a different way but you're, to me, the right voice for the message that's out there around foster care advocacy.

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I'm trying.

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I'm trying because you're not it gets, it gets hard, it gets rough, and I got to take breaks, but well, I can't stop.

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What people don't know about you is you're so brave and I love one of your favorite uh, uh, one of my favorite comments that you've ever made is like I survived out of spite.

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Yes and I tell people all the time that you have this like under glowing like fire in you.

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That's feisty, that I love, and you're the type of person that's going to change this system.

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And when I looked at that you being the proper person for the message and for you know what you've been through, um, and then like what you're doing I'm like I got to support this person.

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Anyway, I can.

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It goes back to like representation, representation matters, and I've been in so many like foster care advocacy meetings where it's just a bunch of people sitting in a room who've never experienced foster care and I mean sure you can have an opinion on it but you don't understand it.

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And you can't fix it from that way.

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No, because they don't get it.

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No, you know, here's another example and not to make this all about me, but it's like I like to bring messages home and it's like I hated, hated, hated the kill shelters.

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Animal kill shelters.

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Huge, huge lover of animals, I'm like how can they have these places on the planet that are these animal kill shelters?

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And when I get curious about something or angry about something, I have to get involved with it.

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So I ended up spending five years volunteering at an animal kill shelter because I had to understand it.

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You know it's like and what I realized, it was in the clinic there.

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They liked me because I can actually pick up the big dogs while they're asleep from the neutering surgeries, and so, um, I realized that everybody there was animal lovers and nothing against no kill shelters either, but it's basically when they don't have enough room, they just close the door, Right.

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And so the real problem was I was hating kill shelters.

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That wasn't the issue.

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It's the fact that we don't adopt animals, Right.

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You know it's like that was the real problem, but how, if we were solving that?

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I hate kill shelters and we're closing those down, which is the last stop at the end for the dogs.

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Anyways, you know it's like they don't want to kill dogs there.

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I can tell you that right now, but it's like we were fixing the problem wrong.

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If I had started fixing problem then and that's why it's like having you involved, you know, with like foster connections is like imperative in my mind because you know the system better than any of us can.

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Yeah, I mean you have to have representation If you're going to change something.

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If you're in a room talking about foster care, you need to have people who've been through foster care Agreed.

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Just having foster parents great, they have a unique understanding, but they still don't have the right perspective to make actual positive changes.

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There's a point.

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Foster Connection's goal at this point is to combine resources that are currently available for kids out there.

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Right, Because it's like I ate lunch with the dean of my business school not too long ago and she's like Tyler, ASU is free for foster kids.

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Problem is they don't know about it and they don't know how to utilize it Right and so, like, our goal with foster connections is basically to combine those amazing resources and help them utilize those resources.

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And Lisa brought up an amazing point.

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Do you remember the point you brought up around like, uh, what we would need to do first to even have an impact.

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What do you mean?

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No, maybe.

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I mean nobody would have thought of this.

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But you're like, hey, we need to get them an ID and a birth certificate.

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They can't even be involved with the systems that are available if they don't have those things.

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Well, that's that's.

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The thing is, uh, you don't know what you don't know, and when you go through foster care, there's so many things that you're not taught that like I guess quote unquote normal kids would have been taught and you have to start at the beginning and it's really difficult for people who, who don't have have a concept of it.

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So, yeah, getting an ID, that seems like common knowledge, but when you go through foster care and you age out at 18, that's one you probably don't even have money to go get an ID.

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You've got to spend money to get money.

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It's insane.

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And they don't have a resume or a birth certificate or a social security card and in order to get a job, you need all of those things.

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But in order to get those things, you need a job to pay for them and it's.

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It's this really weird cycle where there's people they've people find it so hard to be like, like, why is this difficult?

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Why are they struggling?

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Why are so many?

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Why are so many foster teens homeless?

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And it's just because they're.

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They're so far removed from the situation.

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They can't.

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They can't understand, like these little nuances of you know, getting your ID or getting a social security card, and it seems so easy to people, but when you're in that situation it's not easy.

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Kids don't know how to advocate for themselves.

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I mean, my brother went to go to college and he walked in and tried to get financial aid like anybody would, and they denied him.

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And then I heard about this and luckily I had gotten a little confidence by then and I went in there and I don't take no for an answer at that point.

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Very well, and um, I'm like, hey, why did you deny my brother for financial aid?

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And they're like well, we need your parents, um, uh, tax returns.

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And I'm like my dad's been in prison for 15 years and my mom's never had a job in her life.

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You know, if this system isn't built for somebody like my brother, who's it built for?

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But the problem is and that's why I understand this about what you're talking about is because my brother's 18 years old.

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They told him no, he didn't think he could argue or do anything else he wasn't going to advocate.

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And not everybody has an older brother to go in there and fight and guess what?

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He had financial aid in three hours after.

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I did that, you know, and like that's where it was like to me was an aha moment, cause these kids okay, oh, there's a bunch of things out there for them, tyler, you know it's like yeah, but they don't know how to utilize them.

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They don't.

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They don't.

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And they take no for an answer too quickly.

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Yes, and I said this the other day.

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I did a, I did a speech the other day for foster youth and I said don't stop at the first no, ask and keep asking, cause for everybody that every 10 people that tell you know, there's going to be one that's going to tell you yes, and that was my.

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That was a mistake that I made.

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You know, coming into adulthood, like I got denied for so many things like food stamps.

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I tried to get food stamps and they're like no, and I was like okay yeah.

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And I was like I guess I'll just start, but I, I didn't know how to advocate for myself, I just I, they said no to me and I just accepted that.

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And um, that's one thing that I really, really try to like impart on on children that I, or teens that I talk to now, is how, how to somewhat advocate for yourself and like, if you get told no, just keep trying.

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I was listening to stat this morning that 30% of like millennials I think it's millennials, uh are bringing their parents with them to job interview.

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It's like, okay, think about that.

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You know it's like and now we're expecting some poor foster kid.

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That's never actually.

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And we treat the poor differently too.

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Oh, we, we treat them in a way that there's this popper mentality to being poor, and I only know because I've progressed through it.

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You know it's like okay, the authority tells you you're not allowed to do this and you believe it, right, you don't advocate for it.

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It's a weird psychology, you know, but it's, it's true.

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And so these kids are like, okay, no means no.

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It's like.

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Until they get to the point where no doesn't mean no, and that's where I hope foster connection kind of had to step into.

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It's like hey, you don't have the older brother, you don't have the parent.

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You know it's like somebody needs to help you like understand that Like no, it doesn't always mean no.

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And well, yeah, people need to like mentors or it's.

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It's just so.

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It's so difficult because when you grow up in foster care like most of the time it's not you know, you don't have a good situation, you and you learn quickly not to push back.

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Yeah, like you don't talk back to authority, you don't like, you don't push back, or you know something bad is going to happen.

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Cause we call it pushing back instead of advocating for yourself.

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Yeah, or or talking back, or being defiant.

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Yeah.

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They call it many different things.

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But when you go through that and then you become an adult, then it's like, how do I advocate for myself safely, like cause, you know, as a kid I was like if I said something, the wrong thing, I'm going to get backhanded.

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So I learned quickly like maybe I shouldn't do that and you have to change that entire mindset, that entire mentality of like just being an adult.

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Like I didn't know that I was an adult.

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It was super weird.

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Like I turned 18 and I was like, okay, I'm like a grownup, but I was still afraid of adults.

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Like I was terrified of like authority figures and it took me a really long time to realize that, like I'm an adult, I can say things, I can do what I want and I can I can say no.

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Like it took me a really long time to realize that like just coming into adulthood and I I hope that the teens that I talk to now like um, I hope that I can give them some of that Like like you're safe, you're an adult, like you can, you know you're allowed to make your own decisions, you have free will.

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Do me a favor and tell people about the age out issue, cause I don't think most people know.

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Can you tell me a little bit, yeah?

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Well, we have 20,000 youth age out of foster care every year and people talk so much about homelessness.

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It's really, there's a lot of negative ideas around homelessness, but we have one system that's putting out 20,000 youth every year and 50% of them will be homeless.

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So we have one system that's putting out 10,000 homeless people every single year.

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And, uh, you, we have these teens who are you know, they turn 18 and they show up to their foster home and they're like, oh, you know, you don't live here anymore and they're just instantly homeless and there's no resources.

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There's the you know, foster care, generally probably paid for their entire life.

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And then they turn 18 and then, all of a sudden, there's no insurance, there's there's no anything.

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And there are.

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There are some systems like in place, like independent living program.

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Um, they're state-run, state-funded, but they have barriers and that's a problem with, like a lot of organizations or governmental organizations.

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They have a whole lot of barriers and we have these kids who've gone through like immense amounts of trauma and we're going to put up these barriers, like, okay, if you have an addiction, if you have mental health problems, like you're not, you don't qualify for this program.

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And those addictions and those mental health problems.

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They come from foster, care, like foster, care created that and so give me those stats too that get us both in trouble, the ones that got me banned from Instagram, basically uh, the, the, the death row one, yeah, Uh, what?

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what was it 80?

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No, 90, right, I think it's 90% of the 90% of the people on death row in California came from foster care.

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Yeah.

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And it's um and then tell me about the trafficking.

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Well, 80% of the children um rescued from trafficking came from foster care, and then, when it moves to adults, it's 90% of the women who are trafficking survivors spent time in foster care.

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That's what's so crazy to me, and it's crazy that I've been kind of like blacklisted from Instagram for like quoting some of those stats.

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You know it's like if we're not putting this messaging out in the world, because even if you don't care about kids folks, you know it's like shame on you for first of all, but even if you don't like, look at the impacts on society, right, it's like.

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And when I like, what kind of got me into all this is?

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I volunteered for five years at a foster care home and learned a lot about it, Um, an amazing one here in town, and then I spent a very, very small amount of time.

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I told you I met, I met two kids from there.

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Yeah, yeah.

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That said good things about it yeah.

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No, it's amazing facility, you know, and I was proud to be out there.

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You know, I met, uh, I've worked with a lot of the kids and stuff and so, um, they're doing it right in my opinion, you know.

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And so I and I love since I'm a business guy, uh, through the core, I love the fact that they take in donations of furniture.

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So they take in your furniture donations, they sell those and those make a decent chunk of money that partially funds the home every year and it's more like I should take you out there.

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It's more like a neighborhood.

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You know, it doesn't look like any sort of facility and I had a youth incarceration group in here I'm advising for marketing or, excuse me, for groups, quite often charities, and they have been a drop that like when we don't have anywhere for the kids to go, when there's no room, kind of like the animal shelter problem.

00:18:16.948 --> 00:18:22.172
It's like although it's not, I guess, fair to compare it, but it's still it's like nowhere for the kids to go.

00:18:28.819 --> 00:18:31.686
They go to youth incarceration centers despite having done nothing wrong, and that horrified me.

00:18:31.686 --> 00:18:36.238
Well and then, well and then they expect you like to be good, quote, unquote, and it's like here, go to jail and now be good.

00:18:36.238 --> 00:18:38.582
Yeah, and it's like you're angry.

00:18:38.622 --> 00:18:40.063
You're mad, you're angry.

00:18:40.063 --> 00:18:44.907
I remember like getting sent to these group homes and I was so angry I was, so I didn't do anything.

00:18:44.907 --> 00:18:49.392
And so then I'm mad and I'm like I'm running away or I'm leaving, I'm not coming back here.

00:18:49.392 --> 00:18:50.393
This is ridiculous.

00:18:50.393 --> 00:18:58.162
And then I get punished and I'm like I'm being punished for doing nothing and then I get upset about it.

00:18:58.162 --> 00:19:06.884
And now I'm punished for being upset about about being here for no reason In Portland actually they are, they were.

00:19:06.884 --> 00:19:08.931
They're putting kids in hotel rooms, um, foster kids.

00:19:08.931 --> 00:19:09.231
They have.

00:19:09.231 --> 00:19:10.155
No, they don't have homes.

00:19:10.155 --> 00:19:12.943
So they're putting them in hotel rooms, like together.

00:19:12.943 --> 00:19:15.269
And it's it's insane.

00:19:15.269 --> 00:19:26.998
They they purchased a um, they purchased a closed down juvenile hall facility like detention center and they're putting foster kids in there Like they.

00:19:26.998 --> 00:19:27.861
They redid it.

00:19:27.861 --> 00:19:37.800
I guess they're trying to remodel it, but I mean, these kids have gone through horrible things like like probably the worst thing you can imagine, right being taken away from your parents.

00:19:38.502 --> 00:19:43.781
And all of a sudden it's like, okay, we're going to put you in here, like we, we painted the walls.

00:19:43.781 --> 00:19:49.432
So you know, here's your jail cell, but there's paint on the walls, it's, it's terrible.

00:19:49.432 --> 00:19:57.034
And then, and that that goes into that whole, you know the the foster care to prison pipeline.

00:19:57.034 --> 00:20:09.612
You know what they, what they call it, because if that's what you know, you know you're being put in a juvie facility and you're institutionalized.

00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:23.386
You start by being raised by shit parents and then you're taken away from the shit parents and then you're put into a place that's horrifying, right, basically like a prison, and then, like 18 years old, you're kicked out on the street.

00:20:24.169 --> 00:20:26.073
Well, yeah, survive, exactly.

00:20:26.073 --> 00:20:35.430
And then you're going to be stealing or dealing or doing whatever you have to do to survive, and you don't know any better.

00:20:35.630 --> 00:20:35.851
Yeah.

00:20:35.971 --> 00:20:36.653
You don't know any better.

00:20:36.653 --> 00:20:43.680
Yeah, and it's something that I think people have a hard time recognizing.

00:20:43.680 --> 00:20:48.625
We want to villainize homeless people so much Like they're like, oh, most of them want to be homeless.

00:20:48.625 --> 00:20:50.471
Most of them they're addicts.

00:20:50.471 --> 00:20:53.789
Or I'm not going to give them money, they're going to spend it on drugs.

00:20:53.789 --> 00:20:59.411
Like these are kids, they're you know, they just turned 18.

00:20:59.411 --> 00:21:00.271
They're children.

00:21:00.271 --> 00:21:00.973
And then we can't.

00:21:00.973 --> 00:21:05.771
We can't keep villainizing people for things that were never their fault.

00:21:05.771 --> 00:21:08.327
You know, foster kids didn't ask to be foster kids.

00:21:08.568 --> 00:21:08.669
No.

00:21:09.500 --> 00:21:11.588
They didn't ask to have a shitty life or shitty parents.

00:21:11.588 --> 00:21:19.227
And you have to find some kindness Like people when you think about foster kids.

00:21:19.227 --> 00:21:20.790
That's one thing I really am trying to change.

00:21:20.790 --> 00:21:25.599
When you think about foster kids, people are like, oh, I don't want a teenager, I'm afraid Something is wrong with them, and I'm trying to change.

00:21:25.599 --> 00:21:27.487
When you think about foster kids, people are like, oh, I don't want a teenager, I'm afraid there's something is wrong with them.

00:21:27.487 --> 00:21:32.798
And I'm like you're so close, you recognize that, like foster care is traumatic, but you're not going to do anything about it.

00:21:32.798 --> 00:21:35.141
You're just going to say I don't want a teenager.

00:21:35.141 --> 00:21:48.074
That you know, they've been through so much and you're so close, you're so close to seeing, you're so close to seeing it, but are like you're almost there, Almost there.

00:21:48.114 --> 00:21:53.704
I know we glanced over your history a little bit I want to talk about.

00:21:53.704 --> 00:21:55.467
There's a documentary out there.

00:21:55.467 --> 00:21:56.683
What's the name of the documentary?

00:21:56.723 --> 00:21:58.209
again, it's called Playground.

00:21:59.381 --> 00:22:01.567
Your sister is the main focus of the documentary.

00:22:01.788 --> 00:22:02.550
She is yeah.

00:22:02.619 --> 00:22:04.166
George Clooney helped produce it.

00:22:04.560 --> 00:22:04.882
He did.

00:22:04.882 --> 00:22:05.983
He was their co-producer.

00:22:06.642 --> 00:22:09.814
And then, like so, the impact.

00:22:09.814 --> 00:22:12.201
I watched that documentary.

00:22:12.711 --> 00:22:14.134
It took me a long time to watch it.

00:22:14.134 --> 00:22:17.454
When I found out about it, TikTok helped me find out about it actually.

00:22:17.596 --> 00:22:18.157
Is that right?

00:22:18.157 --> 00:22:18.960
Yeah, I didn't know.

00:22:19.150 --> 00:22:23.458
Somebody was like your sister's in this documentary and I was like that's crazy.

00:22:23.890 --> 00:22:27.619
Is it easy enough for you to break down what the documentary is about, or do you want me to do it?

00:22:27.640 --> 00:22:28.662
Yeah, no, I can.

00:22:28.662 --> 00:22:35.231
So well, I'll start from the beginning.

00:22:35.231 --> 00:22:39.345
I guess my sister and I were separated in foster care and when TikTok became a thing, I think it was like 2020, maybe 2021.

00:22:39.345 --> 00:22:45.810
I put out this video where I was like looking for my sister and I told TikTok I was like here's these pictures that I have.

00:22:45.810 --> 00:22:49.701
My sister and I were separated in foster care and I don't know where she's at.

00:22:49.701 --> 00:22:57.615
And somebody wrote me a message and they were like I've seen your sister in a documentary.

00:22:57.855 --> 00:23:19.896
And I was like it was probably, I think maybe one in the morning and I got this message and I looked up this documentary called playground and there was a picture of me and my sister, there was a picture of us like on the trailer, and I was so confused and, um, my, my sister had gotten trafficked.

00:23:19.896 --> 00:23:24.055
At 11 years old she was abducted and trafficked to Canada.

00:23:24.055 --> 00:23:44.134
Actually, she was taken from a mall in Portland, oregon and, uh, traffic to Canada and there was this entire documentary with pictures of me and pictures of her and just really going over like our life and our history and the things that led her into being trafficked, and it was so crazy to me.

00:23:44.134 --> 00:23:47.022
It was so crazy to me Like the foster care system.

00:23:47.022 --> 00:23:51.936
They just one day in, like the early 2000,.

00:23:51.936 --> 00:23:55.883
They were like you can't see your sister anymore and I was like why?

00:23:55.883 --> 00:23:58.814
I don't understand, and I never saw her again.

00:23:58.814 --> 00:24:00.098
I never saw her again.

00:24:00.730 --> 00:24:06.721
But with the help of Tik TOK, I found the documentary and I found a police officer actually so she was.

00:24:06.721 --> 00:24:11.122
She was rescued from trafficking and the foster care system put her.

00:24:11.122 --> 00:24:12.653
They just locked her away in a psych ward.

00:24:12.653 --> 00:24:16.664
And I found this police officer, rescued from trafficking, and the foster care system put her.

00:24:16.664 --> 00:24:22.289
They just locked her away in a psych ward and um I found this police officer in Oakland who, through tick tock like, went in on her own.

00:24:22.289 --> 00:24:29.819
She went and found my sister um at this homeless camp in Oakland and I was able to have like a FaceTime video chat with my sister.

00:24:30.019 --> 00:24:30.280
Yeah.

00:24:30.801 --> 00:24:37.051
Um, she's definitely suffering from her, like the effects of her trauma.

00:24:37.051 --> 00:24:41.320
Um, but it was, yeah, it was crazy, it was absolutely crazy.

00:24:41.842 --> 00:24:46.203
Yeah, they don't get that far in the documentary obviously, and then there's been a lot of years since then.

00:24:46.345 --> 00:24:49.435
But yeah, and then I think it was 2014 it was made.

00:24:49.836 --> 00:24:53.715
There's some stuff in there that's so graphic we can't even I don't think you have on this podcast.

00:24:53.856 --> 00:24:54.598
Yeah, it is.

00:24:54.598 --> 00:24:58.559
It was really hard for me to bring myself to watch it.

00:24:58.559 --> 00:25:05.057
Some people from TikTok would send me pictures of my sister, cause I haven't seen her since I was eight years old.

00:25:05.210 --> 00:25:13.680
That was the last time I saw her and some people sent me pictures of her and I I just like broke down and I lost it and I was.

00:25:13.680 --> 00:25:25.403
It took me so long to watch the documentary but like millions of people watched it and it, it took me weeks before I could like sit down and bring myself to watch it.

00:25:25.403 --> 00:25:35.579
And, um, it's so weird because the the journalist like she, she went to like my childhood home and she found my neighbors.

00:25:35.820 --> 00:25:36.020
Yeah.

00:25:36.651 --> 00:25:44.015
And they would talk about, you know, three little girls, which was me and my sisters, and they would talk.

00:25:44.015 --> 00:25:52.890
They were like, yeah, we knew they were being abused, we knew they were being hurt, and so the documentary goes really deep into my childhood.

00:25:52.890 --> 00:26:01.845
And so the documentary goes really deep into my childhood and I felt, I remember, after I put it on TikTok, like I think it was like, you know, thousands of people watched it.

00:26:01.845 --> 00:26:13.576
Millions of people have seen the documentary and when I finally did watch it, I was, I felt so vulnerable and so exposed and it really made me want.

00:26:13.616 --> 00:26:38.337
I want to tell my story my way yeah and it was so weird to me that somebody could just come and like use my life like for their fame or you know yeah and I was like I want to tell my story myself, I want to be in charge of my story, because it was really weird watching my life um on TV and it was, it was awful.

00:26:38.337 --> 00:26:41.611
And then I would just say, yeah, I just felt so vulnerable and so exposed.

00:26:41.611 --> 00:26:48.971
It took me a really long time to um to find my voice again and start doing like my advocacy work.

00:26:48.971 --> 00:26:54.528
I just I remember just feeling super raw and like these are things.

00:26:54.528 --> 00:27:00.030
These are things that I talk about, but they're they're like there are certain nuances that I don't tell people about.

00:27:00.112 --> 00:27:02.778
And the documentary really exposed a lot of that.

00:27:02.778 --> 00:27:03.779
And it was weird.

00:27:04.040 --> 00:27:04.682
No, it's raw.

00:27:04.682 --> 00:27:06.854
And then you ended up on Dr Phil.

00:27:07.414 --> 00:27:07.715
I did.

00:27:08.416 --> 00:27:09.298
And tell me about that.

00:27:10.500 --> 00:27:18.136
Um, yeah, well, somebody actually it was from TikTok as well A producer reached out to me and she wanted me to be on Dr Phil to talk about aging out of foster care.

00:27:18.136 --> 00:27:24.553
And I went there with this amazing girl named Nia actually she was.

00:27:24.553 --> 00:27:30.756
It was her 21st birthday the day we went on Dr Phil and it was her last day in foster care.

00:27:30.756 --> 00:27:36.140
And they kind of compared us.

00:27:36.140 --> 00:27:44.074
I'm today is my birthday, I'm 33, but they compared us and I was like you can't, I'm 10 years older than this girl.

00:27:44.074 --> 00:27:53.184
You know I have, I have a, I have two degrees, I um, you know I'm in the military and she's figuring herself out.

00:27:53.184 --> 00:27:54.008
You know she's 21.

00:27:54.008 --> 00:27:56.034
She's figuring herself out, she's learning.

00:27:56.034 --> 00:27:59.702
And they kind of compared us and I I kind of stopped.

00:27:59.702 --> 00:28:11.522
I stopped like the middle of the show and I was like I just looked at her and I was like, listen, I have had 10 years more of life experience than you to get to this point that I'm at.

00:28:11.522 --> 00:28:18.637
When I was your age, I had no idea what I was doing, because I could tell she was uncomfortable and it was.

00:28:18.637 --> 00:28:19.259
It was.

00:28:19.259 --> 00:28:20.281
It was a little bit weird.

00:28:20.281 --> 00:28:25.260
It was definitely a little bit weird, but she's she's doing great now.

00:28:25.260 --> 00:28:27.531
That's good it was.

00:28:28.413 --> 00:28:31.241
It was good to be able to talk about foster care, but I didn't.

00:28:31.241 --> 00:28:43.214
I didn't like the the way they compared Nia and I because, like I'm, I'm an adult, you know like, and she's still kind of like young, she's like a kid, and that's how I viewed her.

00:28:43.214 --> 00:28:45.512
I was like this is a you can't do that.

00:28:45.512 --> 00:28:46.493
That's not okay.

00:28:46.493 --> 00:28:48.455
And I know they had to like.

00:28:48.455 --> 00:28:56.645
I know Dr Phil and his producers had to do that to kind of like show I guess, like the nuances, but it was rough.

00:28:56.645 --> 00:28:58.050
It was rough.

00:28:58.050 --> 00:28:58.392
Do you have any?

00:28:58.432 --> 00:29:11.849
idea the odds of like success, like the chances of you not being where and like Lisa you guys, is a real underdog, bootstrapper, game changer, because it's like she is not only like came from that system.

00:29:11.849 --> 00:29:17.299
And if you watch the documentary it's like we don't want to deep dive it but you'll understand even more.

00:29:17.299 --> 00:29:22.901
You know it's like of what she came from ended up homeless, you know, and then became a college graduate.

00:29:22.901 --> 00:29:26.454
You know you're doing uh, uh PR stuff for the national guard.

00:29:26.454 --> 00:29:29.098
Now you know it's like you're an incredible success story.

00:29:29.420 --> 00:29:30.981
Thank you, and what are the?

00:29:31.001 --> 00:29:31.702
stats around that.

00:29:32.344 --> 00:29:40.019
Um 2% of foster youth get a college degree and 50% will graduate from high school.

00:29:40.278 --> 00:29:42.202
What's it like to poke the eye of the odds?

00:29:43.369 --> 00:29:50.018
Um, I mean it should feel better, but I feel overwhelmingly guilty.

00:29:50.018 --> 00:29:52.079
For all my success.

00:29:52.079 --> 00:29:57.425
I would say, um, I feel guilt.

00:29:57.425 --> 00:30:06.684
I would say because I'm being extremely successful while other people are failing and I don't know how to change that.

00:30:06.684 --> 00:30:08.973
So it's like bittersweet.

00:30:08.973 --> 00:30:13.423
It's like I, I'm happy to be successful, but I don't like being.

00:30:13.423 --> 00:30:15.717
I don't like being called resilient.

00:30:15.717 --> 00:30:19.813
People call me resilient all the time and I feel like you're taking away from other people.

00:30:19.813 --> 00:30:26.459
Like when you say that to me, when people recognize me for what I've done, I'm like, no, you don't need to recognize me for what I'm done.

00:30:26.459 --> 00:30:30.454
Like you need to recognize how we're failing all these other children.

00:30:30.875 --> 00:30:31.636
I agree with you.

00:30:31.636 --> 00:30:44.452
But if we don't have somebody that's made it to look at, like you know, it's like the odds of somebody whose parent was in prison and then making it is like I think it's 95% likely you're going to go to and I always wondered I'm like you know where's my person to look at.

00:30:44.452 --> 00:30:49.240
You know to like, know that I can make it, you know that sort of stuff and so, like you're out there.

00:30:49.480 --> 00:30:55.715
You're showing that you can make it and so they have somebody to look to now that it's like this isn't a completely defeated system.

00:30:55.715 --> 00:31:06.358
Somebody else has done it and I know I support you any way I can and I'm rather protective of you because I know how much impact you're making already.

00:31:06.358 --> 00:31:07.161
I know much.

00:31:07.161 --> 00:31:13.219
If there's somebody that's going to change this system, it's going to be you, and I know that you support the people that are able to make the changes.

00:31:13.219 --> 00:31:14.220
I really believe that.

00:31:14.840 --> 00:31:24.871
I'm trying, I'm trying so hard, but it's um, I mean, we just got to have more people who care.

00:31:24.871 --> 00:31:26.492
We do, and that's part of what I try to bring with this.

00:31:26.492 --> 00:31:33.480
It's like so systems, right, it's like we all remember the biological food chain, you know, and I always murder it, you know, on the show, but I bring it up as a point all the time.

00:31:33.480 --> 00:31:40.336
It's like we have the first amoeba, right, and the amoeba is eaten by the frog and the frog's eaten by the Fox and the Fox is eaten by the wolf.

00:31:40.336 --> 00:32:01.878
You know, it's like, and it's like we have this system everybody knows this, this system and the second you pull the frog out, it messes up the whole system, right, you know, like, so far down the road, it's like everybody got up in arms and then the rightly so I did myself too about, like, the thought of trafficking in this world.

00:32:01.878 --> 00:32:08.122
It raises us all to another level, right, you know, I agree with a hundred percent, but the foster care system.

00:32:08.911 --> 00:32:12.500
Yes, that's where we need to start because that's going to make the biggest impact.

00:32:12.500 --> 00:32:13.122
I'm all for it.

00:32:13.122 --> 00:32:17.791
Let's fight it here too.

00:32:17.791 --> 00:32:18.315
Like and it's horrifying.

00:32:18.315 --> 00:32:20.385
You know I'm super passionate about it, but why wouldn't we sit and start the systems in the start?

00:32:20.385 --> 00:32:21.790
We need to fight the systems in the start.

00:32:22.551 --> 00:32:29.118
Oh, and that's the thing people don't don't realize is, um, they're looking at it from their lens, their scope.

00:32:29.118 --> 00:32:35.425
Um, and you have to, you have to start at the beginning, like their root problems.

00:32:35.425 --> 00:32:42.632
And, and there's just, people are like, oh, this is terrible, this is horrible, we have to do something about this.

00:32:42.632 --> 00:32:45.191
I'm like you have to start at the beginning, you have to start at the beginning.

00:32:45.211 --> 00:32:50.692
You have to go all the way back to the beginning of it and unless people start doing that, it's, they're not.

00:32:50.692 --> 00:32:52.156
They're not going to impact change.

00:32:52.497 --> 00:32:54.542
Well, and hope, hope is such a big thing.

00:32:54.542 --> 00:32:57.238
I'm going to murder the study right now, but there was a study around mice.

00:32:57.238 --> 00:33:00.957
You know it's like, right before a mouse drowns, they pull them out.

00:33:00.957 --> 00:33:05.993
You know it's like, and like basically, yeah, and like basically what it tells it.

00:33:05.993 --> 00:33:13.911
It's like there these mice are able to swim multitudes longer of the ones they don't try to save because they're like any moment I'm going to get saved.

00:33:13.911 --> 00:33:15.315
They give them hope is what.

00:33:15.375 --> 00:33:29.178
And I murdered this study, but the idea is still the same and you know, that's what you're doing actually when you're out there talking to the world, and that's why I, like, I'm a huge fan of the camera for this sort of stuff, I'm a huge fan of you for this sort of stuff, because you're giving hope right.

00:33:29.578 --> 00:33:32.506
I'm trying because you can make it through the system.

00:33:32.506 --> 00:33:36.217
Is that why it's imperative to have you involved with something that's around this?

00:33:36.217 --> 00:33:36.738
You know it's like.

00:33:36.738 --> 00:33:43.972
It's like, yes, I'm horrified, absolutely that we're sending kids to like these sort of places before they even have a chance.

00:33:43.972 --> 00:33:44.836
They're set up for failure.

00:33:44.836 --> 00:33:48.750
We know the recidivism rates of offenders in prison, you know.

00:33:48.750 --> 00:33:54.703
Let alone when you send somebody that's innocent, you know, and does nothing wrong, and all of a sudden you're going to put them in a prison type environment.

00:33:54.703 --> 00:33:56.084
It's so much failure.

00:33:56.144 --> 00:34:06.861
Yeah, well, you've institutionalized them already and that's going to be what they know, and that's why we see those those crazy high rates of of um incarceration.

00:34:07.182 --> 00:34:07.321
Yeah.

00:34:07.710 --> 00:34:09.653
Cause it's just there, it's their normal.

00:34:09.914 --> 00:34:25.878
There's so many broken systems that get there to that, and we're starting with the age out system, obviously, because that's one that we can approach, I think, and be helpful, you know, and so foster connections is basically going to be a hub for those places that currently exist hoping to do YouTube videos.

00:34:25.878 --> 00:34:31.155
I hope eventually we get to do some sort of documentary on your story so you can control that story.

00:34:31.155 --> 00:34:33.101
Yeah, I'm excited about that.

00:34:33.101 --> 00:34:35.536
Actually, I think that comes sooner than later.

00:34:35.878 --> 00:34:36.219
Yeah.

00:34:37.161 --> 00:34:44.934
And that that honestly it's it's so easy to pull this stuff off and you know there's a lot of creatives in the world that, um, you know I actually talked to one last week.

00:34:44.934 --> 00:34:49.893
He came in here and he's like hey, I just want to help with this sort of stuff, bringing awareness to foundations and things like that.

00:34:49.893 --> 00:35:02.175
I was like funny that you say that because, like literally, I think that's a pivotal thing that foster connections needs to be doing is using YouTube using the camera, go out, find an amazing foundation, talk about it.

00:35:02.195 --> 00:35:03.221
You know, it's like this place exists in the world.

00:35:03.221 --> 00:35:08.920
Kids you know, and then when it comes to them needing it, they have a place to contact, where it helps them navigate how to get the actual service.

00:35:14.369 --> 00:35:23.998
So, uh, yeah, I mean we and that's I, I I started focusing so much more on nonprofits because they're they're the people that are doing like the making really good, like good changes, positive influence, and they're being impactful.

00:35:23.998 --> 00:35:35.672
And I started focusing so much of my energy on these nonprofits because, like you're right, there are so many resources out there but they teens don't know how to access them.

00:35:35.672 --> 00:35:48.152
They don't know how to get to them, and that's the only way we're going to help is by making sure that, okay, you, the resources are there and making sure that they know how to get the resources.

00:35:49.034 --> 00:35:50.217
I mean you've been a voice for that.

00:35:50.217 --> 00:35:52.001
And then kids contact you quite often.

00:35:52.041 --> 00:35:55.610
I mean you've been a voice for that, and then kids contact you quite often, don't they?

00:35:55.610 --> 00:36:00.331
Yes, yeah, I do, I mentor.

00:36:00.331 --> 00:36:02.938
I mentor kids Usually it's from TikTok, but I mentor some teens case by case basis, I would say.

00:36:02.938 --> 00:36:24.922
Usually I try to like refer them to to another like nonprofit organization, but there are some, there are some teens that just they touch my heart and I'll mentor them throughout their journey and I'll help them make sure that they have the right resources and access and also just being like a shoulder.

00:36:24.922 --> 00:36:26.650
It's.

00:36:27.552 --> 00:36:30.918
Some of the things that I've heard are it's.

00:36:30.918 --> 00:36:47.929
I mean, I know that I had a crazy upbringing, I know that my foster care story is really rough, but it's not unusual, it's not unique and the things that I hear from these teens is so difficult.

00:36:47.929 --> 00:36:55.483
It is so difficult and it makes me so angry and it just hurt.

00:36:55.483 --> 00:36:58.780
It hurts my heart and I I have to keep going, right, I have to keep going.

00:36:58.780 --> 00:37:04.655
I have to keep making these changes and and helping Cause there's.

00:37:04.655 --> 00:37:07.061
You know, there's no use in just being mad and not doing anything.

00:37:07.161 --> 00:37:07.242
Yeah.

00:37:07.242 --> 00:37:12.086
So, if I give you a magic wand tomorrow to like, fix this system.

00:37:12.126 --> 00:37:12.809
I hate this question.

00:37:12.809 --> 00:37:14.597
Tell me a little bit about how you fix it.

00:37:15.110 --> 00:37:16.155
I hate this question.

00:37:16.155 --> 00:37:28.797
Um, you know well, when we look at it, right, you have to start at the root cause, and the root cause, generally I would say, is, um, it starts with a family.

00:37:28.797 --> 00:37:33.976
So we need to find a way.

00:37:33.976 --> 00:37:46.083
Well, and drugs like addiction, addiction is, um, the number one reason why kids are in foster care, you know, cause their parents are addicts.

00:37:46.083 --> 00:37:50.460
Yeah, so we have to start at the at the beginning, right?

00:37:50.460 --> 00:38:06.155
So I mean, we need to address mental health and we need to address addiction, and fixing those things will help impact foster care in a way, like you know, kids won't be going there.

00:38:06.155 --> 00:38:10.827
But if we had to change foster care, we need to.

00:38:10.827 --> 00:38:15.257
You know, you can't throw money at problems, that's.

00:38:15.257 --> 00:38:15.860
That's the thing.

00:38:16.079 --> 00:38:16.320
Yeah.

00:38:16.762 --> 00:38:30.773
You know, foster parents don't get paid a whole lot but, um, a lot of people do it for the money and we're we're advertising like at like seven 11, like they'll be like do you want, do you want to make extra money?

00:38:30.773 --> 00:38:31.996
Become a foster parent.

00:38:32.398 --> 00:38:32.677
Really.

00:38:32.998 --> 00:38:37.920
Yes, and they have like like literally like those, uh like pull tabs, like we like pull a phone number off.

00:38:38.280 --> 00:38:38.681
No way.

00:38:39.050 --> 00:38:47.336
Like, yes, and they have like, we just like and I'm like this is this is how you're getting foster parents Like, this is what we're doing.

00:38:47.789 --> 00:38:47.951
Why?

00:38:47.951 --> 00:38:49.235
Why did they make it?

00:38:49.235 --> 00:38:49.590
Like?

00:38:49.590 --> 00:39:00.039
I have a good friend, he's very successful, wife's very successful, beautiful million dollar house that they live in Great people.

00:39:00.039 --> 00:39:01.684
You know it's like they struggled to get to adopt.

00:39:01.684 --> 00:39:02.427
They had a hard time.

00:39:02.427 --> 00:39:03.492
They tried to have kids for a while.

00:39:03.492 --> 00:39:06.260
They struggled to adopt Like it was really tough for them.

00:39:06.260 --> 00:39:11.061
It was a couple of year process, but then there's pull tabs out there to be like explain that to me.

00:39:12.030 --> 00:39:17.302
Well, I mean, my, my view of adoption is a little bit different than I think most people would have.

00:39:17.302 --> 00:39:24.998
I have a different perspective, but it goes back to where I said.

00:39:24.998 --> 00:39:28.543
We have to change the way we view foster kids, because we look at them like they did something wrong.

00:39:28.744 --> 00:39:28.925
Yeah.

00:39:29.010 --> 00:39:31.719
Or there's something inherently flawed within them.

00:39:31.719 --> 00:39:36.157
And they're unwanted, and they're unwanted.

00:39:36.358 --> 00:39:36.539
Yeah.

00:39:44.293 --> 00:39:48.610
And it's difficult to change that perspective and that idea that society has.

00:39:48.610 --> 00:39:51.271
And so it's hard to get foster parents.

00:39:51.271 --> 00:40:05.056
I would say it's difficult to get good foster parents because people who do get in it for the right reasons and they're like kind and they, they lead with kindness and they're they're good foster parents, they're going to get burned out.

00:40:05.056 --> 00:40:06.675
They're going to get burned out there.

00:40:06.675 --> 00:40:07.612
You know the.

00:40:07.612 --> 00:40:10.880
The system is just there.

00:40:10.880 --> 00:40:13.297
It's flawed at so many different stages.

00:40:13.619 --> 00:40:13.760
Yeah.

00:40:14.090 --> 00:40:17.590
You know, like we're, we're failing the kids, we're failing the foster parents.

00:40:17.590 --> 00:40:26.114
The good foster parents are being, you know, given the runaround, or you know it's, they can't find resources.

00:40:26.114 --> 00:40:29.302
They need mental health resources for one of their foster kids.

00:40:29.302 --> 00:40:31.894
The caseworker won't call them back, like.

00:40:31.894 --> 00:40:35.871
And then you know they're afraid to like, call the caseworker.

00:40:35.891 --> 00:40:50.896
The caseworkers are like okay, I'm going to take this kid away from you put him in a new house, like, and they're like no, I just want to help them, I just want to find them resources and uh, you know, it's just, it's so many stages, there's so many stages where you know we're failing.

00:40:51.376 --> 00:40:51.536
Yeah.

00:40:52.016 --> 00:40:58.206
And so there's not like one simple solution to like fix it, it's just, it's systemic, you know.

00:40:58.831 --> 00:41:00.197
There's a documentary have you seen it?

00:41:00.197 --> 00:41:02.882
How to manufacture a sex scandal or something like that.

00:41:02.882 --> 00:41:04.269
It's crazy.

00:41:04.269 --> 00:41:20.076
It's basically these foster parents that they create in the kids' minds that their parents had done something awful to them in the way of like taking them to this like sex cult thing.

00:41:20.076 --> 00:41:24.264
And it turns out in the documentary that that wasn't true.

00:41:24.264 --> 00:41:33.956
Uh, that basically the reason that they had perpetuated that is because if you had more of a mental reason for mental illness, they got paid more money.

00:41:34.237 --> 00:41:42.719
Yes, yeah, I talk about that so often is foster parents are incentivized to to basically say that you're a bad kid.

00:41:42.719 --> 00:41:52.442
Yeah, so I remember I, my little brother and I were only 11 months apart Um, so we're, we're super close and we fight.

00:41:52.442 --> 00:42:10.150
We we fought so much as kids and I remember him and I I think we were like five and we were fighting each other and I got labeled as violent and I was like and my foster parents got paid more money Like I would, but now what a reward system Exactly?

00:42:10.269 --> 00:42:12.599
It all comes down to broken reward systems too.

00:42:13.190 --> 00:42:16.666
But now I'm a violent kid Right and I'm labeled as that.

00:42:16.666 --> 00:42:34.952
So the number of foster homes that I was allowed to go to, like it gets less and less and less, and foster parents are just basically incentivized to be like, oh yeah, this kid is violent, or this kid is this, or this kid has this, and the more things that they add on, the more money they make, but they don't care about the repercussions.

00:42:34.952 --> 00:42:48.481
They don't care that, like I'm going to go through 10 more years of foster care and I'm only going to be, the number of homes that I'm allowed to go in is going to get smaller and the quality of those homes is going to be worse.

00:42:49.190 --> 00:42:50.615
All because somebody wanted to make some more money.

00:42:50.615 --> 00:42:51.911
Calling you a violent kid yes.

00:42:52.112 --> 00:42:58.690
Yeah, just for having a having a spat with my brother at five years old is it's insane, it's crazy.

00:42:58.690 --> 00:43:00.940
That's a normal kid thing.

00:43:01.782 --> 00:43:04.572
In that documentary, a couple of people end up going to jail over it.

00:43:04.572 --> 00:43:10.960
You know that sort of stuff, and they weren't award winner parents by any means, but they weren't doing that either, and you know it's.

00:43:10.960 --> 00:43:11.985
It's just crazy to me.

00:43:11.985 --> 00:43:16.159
We see broken systems and usually there's a broken reward system included in that.

00:43:16.159 --> 00:43:17.692
You know, and so it's.

00:43:17.692 --> 00:43:42.121
It's insanity the way that, like, we're treating these systems, and that's why I'm excited to like work on something where we have you, has insight and, like I, I think anybody that wants to work on changing something needs to get somebody involved that's immersed into what it is, you know, and then like, um, because you can't change systems by just guessing what they are, yes, yeah, and that's I mean even now.

00:43:42.422 --> 00:44:00.856
Even now, like I, the teens that I talk to, I always try to get their perspective and their, their needs, because you know I've been out of foster care for, you know, a decade Like um, so I I understand the system from my perspective, my point of view, but it's changing Right.

00:44:00.856 --> 00:44:17.594
So we need to know what's going on and I'm I'm constantly talking to to teens and I'm trying to get them to be involved, like get involved, speak up, advocate um, because you know they're going to understand it even more than I do and and I need their perspective.

00:44:17.594 --> 00:44:20.559
I can't, you know, you can't change things if you don't know.

00:44:20.559 --> 00:44:29.210
You don't understand it deeply, and I do, but they, they understand it a little more than I do and it's a it's important to recognize that.

00:44:29.612 --> 00:44:35.001
We trash people and you know, it's like we're not even giving them a shot, you know, at at life.

00:44:35.001 --> 00:44:37.550
You know, and everybody deserves a shot at life, you know.

00:44:37.550 --> 00:44:48.713
And uh, and at the same time then we set up the bad reward systems for perpetuating those systems, you know, and it's like, and then we make it for some reason somehow in those systems very difficult for good people to help.

00:44:49.092 --> 00:44:53.679
You know it's like I don't know how we do that on both ends, but we somehow figure out doing that on both ends.

00:44:53.679 --> 00:45:00.494
When I first heard about this thing, I knew immediately, like I didn't know what to do to help.

00:45:00.494 --> 00:45:11.815
You know, but I'm I knew that like and I say this on the show all the time if it hits you here and it hits you here, that means and I mean your heart and your stomach for those just listening uh, that means you have to do something about it, you know.

00:45:11.835 --> 00:45:12.956
And so like it.

00:45:12.956 --> 00:45:24.159
I felt so hopeless in that moment to like help make an impact, and that's when you know we got together with Mary and some other people you know to like try to make a difference and you know, and even one person's worth it.

00:45:25.101 --> 00:45:28.112
Yes, yeah, exactly, well, cause these kids.

00:45:28.112 --> 00:45:33.617
They didn't do it, they didn't do anything wrong and we have to, like you, have to raise awareness first.

00:45:33.617 --> 00:45:40.778
I think, like I agree, people just don't even know what foster care is, or they have such a misconstrued idea of it.

00:45:41.289 --> 00:45:43.106
When I use that stat, people are horrified.

00:45:43.106 --> 00:45:47.438
Yeah, when I tell them about kids going to the youth incarceration centers, they're horrified.

00:45:47.438 --> 00:45:48.601
So what does that tell you?

00:45:48.601 --> 00:45:51.619
If we could tell more people that alone it would change it.

00:45:53.914 --> 00:45:56.559
Well, and it sucks, right, it sucks that we have to make people care.00:45:56.559 --> 00:46:02.860


But you, you know, you don't know what you don't know, and and so many people don't even understand what's happening or what's going on.00:46:02.860 --> 00:46:09.815


And you do, you have to, you have to be like hey, listen, this 90% of the people on death row came from foster care.00:46:09.976 --> 00:46:10.135


Yeah.00:46:10.570 --> 00:46:23.576


Like 80% of the children rescued from trafficking came from foster care, and you have to use these crazy statistics, which are valid and true, but you have to do that just to get people to care about it Otherwise, otherwise they're not going to care about foster kids.00:46:23.576 --> 00:46:24.961


They're like whatever, like who cares?00:46:24.961 --> 00:46:25.692


It doesn't affect me.00:46:26.273 --> 00:46:27.878


It doesn't affect me, so I don't care.00:46:27.878 --> 00:46:37.302


I mean, I think the assumption is like people keep their eyes closed on it and they just assume it's an we're taking care of them, it's going, it's, it's getting handled properly, you know, I think that's where somewhere better.00:46:37.322 --> 00:46:38.465


They're like yeah, you're somewhere.00:46:42.610 --> 00:46:43.851


They're taking them out of the broken home.00:46:43.851 --> 00:46:44.271


You know we have.00:46:44.271 --> 00:46:44.773


They're in paradise now.00:46:44.793 --> 00:46:46.034


I think that's the assumption of the American population.00:46:46.034 --> 00:46:47.315


Oh, and it's just not true.00:46:47.315 --> 00:46:48.177


It's just not true.00:46:48.177 --> 00:46:49.077


It's so.00:46:49.077 --> 00:47:07.293


Foster is so bad, it's so bad and I can't, there's there's, there's nothing I can do to make people understand uh, foster care the way that I do, but it's just so bad, it's so awful, it is so terrible and it you just you're set up for a life of failure.00:47:07.293 --> 00:47:13.655


You're that's what you're set up for, that's what it's creating, and it's really difficult to climb your way out of that.00:47:14.597 --> 00:47:15.139


Totally is.00:47:15.139 --> 00:47:17.724


You know it's like there's that finish line analogy.00:47:17.724 --> 00:47:33.739


You know where it's like if you're, they give a bunch of variables, like if you're starting with two parents or you're starting with middle income or whatever you start where you're going to start on that starting line Right and like it's amazing how far the start line even most kids are starting Right.00:47:33.739 --> 00:47:40.945


It's like even if you just have like a standard set of parents from a middle-class background, you know it's like you're so far ahead.00:47:41.005 --> 00:48:00.423


Yeah, you're already killing it, you're crushing it, and that's why it's like a big majority of my work is under this like intention, that like if you take more people that had to deal with horrible circumstances, situations without the rich uncle, to help them, you know, like that sort of stuff and then you help them get their success and I don't mean give it to them by any means.00:48:00.423 --> 00:48:04.367


Nobody's given you anything in this world, you know, not unless you come from that you know it's like.00:48:04.367 --> 00:48:11.331


But like you can educate around it, you can support you, can, you know, like, be that ear to listen.00:48:11.331 --> 00:48:13.797


You know it's like we can absolutely do that in the world.00:48:13.797 --> 00:48:17.364


You know, and it's like we can absolutely do that in the world.00:48:17.364 --> 00:48:18.045


You know it's like.00:48:18.045 --> 00:48:21.632


And those people, when they make it, they change things.00:48:21.632 --> 00:48:22.376


I tell people this all the time.00:48:22.396 --> 00:48:23.782


It's like if Elon Musk had grown up in the foster care system.00:48:23.782 --> 00:48:24.485


Would it look the way it does?00:48:24.485 --> 00:48:24.887


Yeah, it would be.00:48:24.887 --> 00:48:25.449


It would be fixed.00:48:25.469 --> 00:48:28.132


Yeah, he'd be pissed off about it from growing up into it.00:48:28.132 --> 00:48:41.822


It wasn't fair, and that's why you need that Elon Musk that's out there right now, not getting aged out to become homeless, you know, because then they I mean you know a guy right now, don't you that like is a genius that created some amazing company.00:48:41.822 --> 00:48:44.797


Yeah, yeah, um came out of the foster care system.00:48:44.797 --> 00:48:45.318


He did?00:48:45.438 --> 00:48:45.938


He did.00:48:45.938 --> 00:48:52.659


Yeah, he, he owns a, a defense company, actually, and he's doing um amazing things.00:48:52.659 --> 00:49:00.190


He's actually opening up a um amazing things.00:49:00.190 --> 00:49:03.121


He's actually opening up a um, a gifted program in Hawaii for um, for foster kids and orphans from the entire for the world.00:49:03.342 --> 00:49:03.543


Yeah.00:49:03.704 --> 00:49:04.606


They can come from anywhere.00:49:04.927 --> 00:49:05.349


That's amazing.00:49:05.469 --> 00:49:09.641


And he's opening up this gifted home and, um, I'm really excited to see what he does.00:49:09.641 --> 00:49:22.016


But yeah, he's, you know, he's made, he's made himself very successful and he's giving back, he's trying, he's impacting change and that's what we need.00:49:22.016 --> 00:49:27.858


That's what we need we just so many people, right, they don't want to talk about their past or their trauma or their history.00:49:27.858 --> 00:49:29.195


They want to pretend like it doesn't exist.00:49:29.195 --> 00:49:36.596


Yep, but if we don't talk about it, nobody's going to know, nobody's going to change it, and we need people.00:49:38.750 --> 00:49:39.733


We need people who are going to be changers.00:49:39.733 --> 00:49:42.318


The sad part of it, too, is you need to get your success.00:49:42.318 --> 00:49:47.210


If you've been through this stuff, because this is the best way to change it, people will listen to you when you're in a boardroom People.00:49:47.210 --> 00:50:01.960


If Bill Gates says something, he can change something right now and nobody understands it like somebody that's been immersed into a system that's dealt with the pain firsthand.00:50:01.960 --> 00:50:04.016


I actually applaud people that came from perfect system, perfect families and still care about this stuff Right.00:50:03.902 --> 00:50:10.211


It's like because you're caring about it, just because you're a good human, not because it's painting you on a different level, Right, and so it's like you grew up with everything and you still care about this stuff.00:50:10.291 --> 00:50:12.596


I you know, it's like.00:50:13.036 --> 00:50:24.603


I know like a lot of us grow up and like we're mad about the system and that's why we want to change it, you know, and so like, and that's fine too, you know, but they like those people working together, and that's the thing too.00:50:24.603 --> 00:50:31.833


It's like there's amazing amount of kindhearted people that want to affect these, these things, and I think we're hoping to be more of a thread to put people together.00:50:31.833 --> 00:50:36.018


This is a united front in changing these things.00:50:36.018 --> 00:50:50.539


And youth incarceration groups should care, prison reformists should care, you know like, uh, humanity people should care, child welfare people should care, and if we all kind of work together on the same problems, you know it's like they can make a change.00:50:51.260 --> 00:50:53.184


Yeah, but it's so difficult, it's difficult.00:50:53.184 --> 00:50:53.811


That's the first.00:50:53.811 --> 00:50:55.358


That's the first step is getting people to care.00:50:55.719 --> 00:51:02.193


Yeah, that's why I think what you're doing is beautiful.00:51:02.193 --> 00:51:04.222


That's why, like, when somebody comes at you, it's like I take it so personal.00:51:04.222 --> 00:51:12.512


You know, it's like I get mad on another level you could do what you want to me, but like I very protective of you because I see the amazing work that you're doing and the way people come at you over it.00:51:12.652 --> 00:51:14.614


I don't take them seriously, though.00:51:14.675 --> 00:51:16.336


That's the thing, and I appreciate that you don't.00:51:16.336 --> 00:51:17.639


You know so.00:51:18.280 --> 00:51:32.552


I'll do like some little like reply videos to some of these hate comments and I try to be lighthearted and like mostly nice about it, but it's just hurt people, hurt people you know, like happy, happy people.00:51:32.552 --> 00:51:33.313


Don't hurt people.00:51:33.492 --> 00:51:33.713


No.00:51:34.134 --> 00:51:35.815


And so I just have to think about it that way.00:51:35.815 --> 00:51:37.777


It's like you know people are.00:51:37.777 --> 00:51:49.735


How hurt do they have to be to to be saying stuff like that, you know, and and I just I just have empathy for them, kindness, and I'm like it's what it always is.00:51:49.909 --> 00:51:55.057


You know, like when I have somebody that says something crappy to me in the comments or something like that, I usually respond with kindness.00:51:55.057 --> 00:52:05.672


Or the other day some guy drops in something nasty at me and I'm like you know what I can take this, you know, and so I'm glad you're wasting your time on me, because I can deal with it instead of hurting somebody else.00:52:05.992 --> 00:52:09.201


And to it, to that point, he actually came back and said something nice to me.00:52:09.201 --> 00:52:10.231


You know about it.00:52:10.231 --> 00:52:12.793


You know it's like, so like that's what they're looking for.00:52:12.893 --> 00:52:19.322


They're looking for attention, and I mean they're hurt, and that's where they I mean responding with kindness.00:52:19.322 --> 00:52:22.266


Right, you're you, you helped him, you know.00:52:22.710 --> 00:52:23.451


It's just crazy, though.00:52:23.451 --> 00:52:28.577


Why go after you instead of the guy that's out there sitting in the rented Ferrari trying to sell like a hundred dollar course?00:52:28.757 --> 00:52:34.764


you know that is no good for you know, it's like I don't understand that, but it's, it's the world we live in.00:52:34.764 --> 00:52:41.371


You know, it's the, you know, like the people that are out there trying to do the good in the world, for some reason we try to bring them down instead of boost them up.00:52:41.371 --> 00:52:49.632


But and so I would say to you, um game changers out there, keep doing it anyway, you know, survive out of spite.00:52:50.012 --> 00:52:52.336


Yes, lisa, you know it's like.00:52:52.396 --> 00:52:57.403


I love the fire in your system, for, like what you're doing, I really do.00:52:57.605 --> 00:52:58.045


It's a lot.00:52:58.045 --> 00:52:59.554


There's a lot of fire in there.00:52:59.673 --> 00:53:01.539


Yeah and uh.00:53:01.539 --> 00:53:03.237


So I want to give you a chance to like.00:53:03.237 --> 00:53:07.362


You should probably tell people your Tik TOK at least so they can follow you yeah.00:53:07.581 --> 00:53:10.030


Yeah, that's my, that's my, everything.00:53:10.030 --> 00:53:13.880


There are hundreds of fake accounts of me, which is super weird.00:53:13.880 --> 00:53:19.072


Yeah, accounts of me, which is super weird.00:53:19.072 --> 00:53:20.836


Um, people like, take my videos and like, but I only have one.00:53:20.836 --> 00:53:21.358


I have one Instagram.00:53:21.358 --> 00:53:22.561


I have one Tik TOK, it's all.00:53:22.561 --> 00:53:23.083


Miss Lisa Pisa.00:53:23.083 --> 00:53:32.202


Um, but yeah, it's super, super odd All these little fake seeing myself with all these weird captions.00:53:32.202 --> 00:53:34.072


I'm like what do you?00:53:34.072 --> 00:53:35.534


Can you just not steal my video?00:53:35.554 --> 00:53:37.900


for like taking your own text even.00:53:37.960 --> 00:53:39.083


Yeah, it's so odd.00:53:39.730 --> 00:53:44.721


Thank you for everything you're doing and thanks for coming on the show today on your birthday.00:53:44.721 --> 00:53:49.170


You know really excited about what we're working on Um.00:53:49.170 --> 00:53:58.518


For those of you out there, especially creatives or anybody on any level if you want to be able to help with foster connections as we're building it, developing it um love to get together.00:53:59.000 --> 00:54:01.103


Yeah, love to get together with creatives.00:54:01.103 --> 00:54:03.195


Bring out a camera, let's make an event of it.00:54:03.195 --> 00:54:10.820


If you're also like somebody that runs a foster foundation or anything along those lines, we want to bring awareness to what you're doing and support good people.00:54:10.820 --> 00:54:12.652


Um and uh.00:54:12.652 --> 00:54:27.184


Yeah, I want to thank you today for joining us on another episode of Underdogs, bootstrappers, game Changers A little bit different episode, but what I want you to totally get out of this is success comes with an obligation.00:54:27.184 --> 00:54:28.414


I truly believe in that.00:54:28.414 --> 00:54:29.358


That's fair.00:54:30.413 --> 00:54:33.500


And if you can get your success, you can do a hell of a lot more with it.00:54:33.500 --> 00:54:49.193


And I also want you to understand the impact of systems and we all get frustrated about things, but then I implore you to like dive a little bit deeper and understand the true fundamentals of of what is going wrong in that system so we can actually fix things.00:54:49.193 --> 00:54:51.398


So think different folks.00:54:51.398 --> 00:54:52.882


Thanks for joining us.00:54:52.882 --> 00:55:07.998


Hello and welcome to underdogs, bootstrappers and game changers.00:55:07.998 --> 00:55:11.181


This is for those of you that.00:55:11.181 --> 00:55:12.400


Thanks for joining us, tank.00:55:12.400 --> 00:55:17.164


My aim with this podcast is to take away some of the imaginary roadblocks that are out there.00:55:17.164 --> 00:55:21.827


I want to help more underdogs, because underdogs are truly who change the world.00:55:21.827 --> 00:55:24.355


This is part of our content for good initiative.00:55:24.355 --> 00:55:29.275


All the proceeds from the monetization of this podcast will go to charitable causes.00:55:29.275 --> 00:55:31.061


It's for the person that wants it.